Scoop Feedback: The Tale Of A Dog Called 'Kapital'

Wednesday, 7 November 2001, 10:01 am
Opinion: Scoop Feedback

In This Edition: Feedback For Gerry Eckhoff - Taliban + ISI + CIA = Disaster - Communist Propaganda Of The Shoddiest Kind

Feedback For Gerry Eckhoff

(RE: Eckhoff to Lay Complaint Against GM Protesters)

Here is a little tale that Gerry Eckhoff will understand..him bein' a farmer an' all...

Sit down children...and I'll tell you a story about a nice doggy that went bad.

*****

Once there was a friendly doggy called, 'Kapital'.

He was well trained and looked after by a kind, intelligent family who cared for him, and who didn't allow him to roam after sheep.

But as time passed, the family grew mean-spirited, so they sold him to a careless pighunter and invested the money in foreign companies.

Initially, the pighunter used Kapital successfully - but after smokin' too much dope and drinkin' too much LyingRedMofo he got lazy and Kapital was soon running amok - such that one day, he ran away to roam in the meadows and hide in the Bush – where from he mounted raids on not-genetically-modified units.

Many farmers suffered losses because of Kapital, the now-wild dog.

The liberal types wanted to write a letter to Kapital and ask him to stop killing sheep. The law-abiding fearful types thought that the farmers should apply to Kapital for a licence to keep sheep. So they promoted this, and Kapital's appetite became more voracious.

The advocates said "Kapital is acting according to his nature - if we stop him, we'll be encroaching on his rights" And the slaughter continued. The fields were awash with blood.

The conscientious objectors said that killing Kapital would make everyone as bad as him.

So no-one acted.

By this time, Kapital had associated with other abandoned and neglected dogs. 3 of these dogs were called, 'frimahkit', 'growff' and 'sehkewity'. All these dogs were well groomed, but like some inbreds, had something fundamentally wrong with them that you couldn't quite put your finger on...

After a while, people got used to the wanton violence of this canine gang, and submitted to the dogs. They feared what should happen if they fought back, so 'consented' and supported the dogs' actions, thus legitimising everything they'd done in the past.

The slaughter continued. The sheep and farmers started harassing each other, such was their frustration.

The politically precious then said that the dogs appeared to have been democratically elected, so the farmers shouldn't complain.

After a while the dogs worked out how to deal with critics. They used false predicates and unanswerable charges against their critics, and sometimes laid complaints against their critics with the police - who were only too happy to help these smiling friendly dogs. The police, of course, noticed the blood- stained teeth, but these were such nice shinysuited doggies with lovely wet pink tongues that felt quite nice and tickly in some places. mmmmmm!

Now as luck would have it, nature has a way dealing with an imbalance and this came in the form of some boys who had working fathers, and mothers who hadn't emasculated them. These were not fetal-alcohol syndrome kids, nor had they been brain-damaged by ritalin and bad batches of multiple-vaccines. These were kids who'd climbed trees and fallen off and survived!

The also had the benefit of a truly private education, devoid of state manipulation and popular economic ideology, with an emphasis on the better areas of the humanities. These boys didn't feel a need for media attention.

Nor did they lust after fame. Nor were they power-freaks. Rare fellows indeed.

The boys observed that their entire society was paralysed by a socio-political mindset in favour of the dogs.

It was quite clear to them how to solve the problem.

They ordered a .22 rifle(which the dogs had banned sometime earler) over the internet and shot the dogs, and the problem went away. Until next time, anyway.

OH, and the family that looked after Kapital in the first place? They got much wealthier, lived a long long time, and slowly rotted in an institution for old people where they were kept well past their use-by date by all kinds of new and interesting pharmaceutical technologies.

See - there is justice in the world after all.

***

Wasn't that a sweet story, children? :*)

And something else for Gerry: The law is not absolute. It is merely a tool, and it changes day to day. When it stops protecting us, when it is used to promote abstractions instead of protect people, when it is used against us instead of for us...we have no obligation to respect it.

Andrew McLellan

Taliban + ISI + CIA = Disaster

America's Manifest Destiny is to exist as the Land of the Free. The Islamic Republic of Paki-stan (i.e., Land of the Pure) also has a Manifest Destiny etched into its constitution: to exist as the Land of Pure Islam, with no room for infidels (non-Muslims). Pakistan's raison d'etre goes against everything that America stands for.

Sadly, there is an American entity caught on the wrong side of this confrontation: the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). The CIA has always run a parallel and uncontrolled American foreign policy.

Once the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979, the CIA taught Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence Agency (ISI) the art of running low-intensity proxy-wars with small cells of terrorists, and graced this ungodly operation with $3.5 billion in cash and arms. The Pakistanis used these resources to shape their Islamic students (talib) into a fanatical army (Taliban), trained them, and set them loose in Afghanistan and Kashmir.

When the Soviet Union withdrew from Afghanistan ten years later, America could have disarmed the Taliban by buying back their arms for a few million dollars and helping them setup small-scale industries. Instead, the CIA simply walked away from a hell-hole of their own creation and let Islamic terrorism ferment to the point where it struck back at its own Creator: the United States of America. Afghanistan's explosive mixture of religious fundamentalism and well-trained militias has finally culminated in the World Trade Center attacks.

Currently, Pakistan is $30 billion in debt to the United States. In exchange for handing over Osama bin Laden to the US, Pakistan is asking for loan forgiveness. If the US makes a gift of another $30 billion to Pakistan, America will be funding the rise of a Super-Taliban, one whose capabilities would be too dreadful to even contemplate.

Today we see Pakistan on the brink of internal collapse. The majority of its military officers are hard-line Islamists or Islamic sympathizers. Pakistan has also declared its nuclear weapons to be "Islamic Bombs". This is the time to disarm Pakistan of its nuclear capabilities. Today it may cost a billion dollars. In ten years, it may cost us Long Island.

In one stroke, America can address the safety of its own citizens and the stability of Pakistan. America must undertake a long-term pro-active strategy and replace Pakistan's nuclear weapons with an American security umbrella. This will safeguard American lives. This will also address Pakistan's willingness to use nuclear weapons to solve the Kashmir problem.

We should take a pro-active approach towards this scourge of Islamic fundamentalist related terrorism. We should encourage Pakistan to close down its madrassas (religious schools) -- the major supply for fundamentalist Islamic terrorists. We should also encourage moderate forces in Pakistan to rid itself of fundamentalist army officers (the thought of nuclear weapons in the hands of these extreme elements in the Pakistani army is a real danger). We must wake up before it is too late.

Biswanath Halder Cleveland, Ohio

Communist Propaganda Of The Shoddiest Kind

(Re: Intergalactic Callout To Resist GE! - POSTER -The Green Lantern Wants You! - To Resist GE )

My fellow super heroes the Fantastic Four, The Hulk, Captain America, the X-Men, The Avengers, Daredevil, The Punisher, Ghostrider, Electra, The Phantom, The Flash, Batman, Robin, superman, the crow and Superman all saw the signs of deranged behaviour seeping into the green lantern's attitude, he has strictly broken the code of comic book characters caused by alternate effects he suffered as a result of his ring constructs.

We believe the real Green Lantern has been destroyed and corrupted by the Supervillain Doomsday, President Lex Luthor was trying to prevent the war planet of pluto that Doomsday has set up for base for his attempted destruction of the City Metropolis in the United States, we believe the alternate Green Latern that possesses the yellow ring construct given to him by Ganthet has taken over the Green Lantern's body, we believe the message that was sent to your news network service was orchestrated by a supporter of Osama Bin Laden and wants it (the message) to corrupt the infidels (as he calls them) who are attempting to destroy the true preachings of Muhammed the only true prophet of God, if you receive further messages from the "Green Lantern" we suggest you contact the authorities in your local area so they locate and destroy Bin laden as he inevitably will try to contact Doomsday and destroy what remains of the true Green Lantern's body.

Yours Peter Parker
ParkerSpid@netscape.net
(aka the Amazing Spiderman)
Queens, New York

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