10 December 2004

Gay Eaters for Jesus

Exercise and Diets on the Homosexual Agenda.

Gay Eaters for Jesus began their celebrations of the passing of the Civil Union Bill into law today with the launch of a moderate and balanced diet. “We’ve certainly been doing our bit for political activism over the last few weeks, and while we’ve tried to eat as sensibly as possible, we have noticed the clothes have become a little tighter” said Xavier Goldie today, National Facilitator for GEFJ.

“It’s been tough having to eat extra portions”, he added, “but that’s the price you pay for getting involved in the political system and trying to effect positive, progressive social change.”

Mr Goldie said that the Gay Eaters for Jesus had proved successful in highlighting the inane and ludicrous behaviour of attention-seeking pastors Paul Adams MP and Steve Trim, as well as the bad manners-and-frothing-at the-mouth fundamentalism of Garnet Milne, spokesperson of the Campaign Against Civil Unions.

“Our only real goal was to show the ‘arguments’ and behaviour Mr Adams, Mr Trim and Mr Milne as the hysterical and fallacious rubbish that it was. In the end they managed to do it quite successfully for themselves, without any assistance from us” Mr Goldie said between mouthfuls of his last Buttered Chicken lunch.

He added that a return to a sensible eating regime of a balanced diet and regular exercise was a great way to celebrate the passing of the Bill. “People have been working long and hard on this campaign, and now it’s time to return to real life.”

“We realise that the sky is not going to fall in, and people are going to wake up to the fact that life goes on as normal, albeit in society that’s just a little fairer. I guess Mr Adams’ and Mr Trim’s first meal back may be a bitter pill to swallow, but in time they’ll realise that things aren’t too bad after all. Who knows? Maybe they’ll end up attending a friend’s Civil Union one day and wonder what all the fuss was about,” Mr Goldie said.

ENDS

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