Newsweek To Remove Spines From Future Publications

Don't let the backbone of the man on the cover fool you. This magazine is 100% spineless.

MSM--Since its founding in 1933, the pages of Newsweek have been held together by a perfect combination of glue and staples. The binding method proved incredibly effective, ensuring that the pages would not be lost or shuffled in the wrong order.

However, all of that will change next week when the popular weekly news magazine becomes a worthless stack of loose papers.

The decision to switch to the spineless format comes amid a general willingness in the media to rollover in the face of criticism from the White House and the radical right wing of the Republican Party.

Newsweek President Harold Shain explained that it wouldn't be much of a change because the magazine never had much of a spine in the first place.

"This will make things a lot easier. It takes too much money and effort to back-up our stories with solid supporting materials."

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said President Bush is looking forward to the change.

"We hope that this will make it easier for us to manipulate the news product, allowing us to keep the news we want and throw the rest away."

ENDS

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