Kamala Sarup: When I visited Mother Teresa

I know that she loved all the children and poor women, but it's true that despite her great efforts she could never buy an expensive sari nor could she have enjoyed it and made several entreaties.

Therefore, she was a respected mother at the end of her life as well. As far as I know she could never provide unhappiness to us. Thus her death has been very sad.

I was watching speechless when she died. Because of the cold wind blowing through the window the pages I wrote began to get scattered. I try to collect them hurriedly. The street can be seen clearly through my window. People are seen walking incessantly suppressed under their own busy needs.

Here is some want, poverty and joy and richness. It seems as if they are in their gradual journey and are spending their great amount of time in life. I gather together the pages and again try to resume writing the story without any pause. There is only one Mother Teresa.

If I am to say truly, she was beloved because she tried to know the meaning of love. She lived a meaningful life.

I hadn't imagined that Mother Teresa would die like that.

I have stared at the moon and in my poems wrote my love letters about unequal life and afflicting time. I wrote how ferocity produced complexity in life. I rambled on from the morning to evening and jotted down poems in the fits of drinks, as now on Mother Teresa's death. I was writing incessantly. In the meantime my wife entered the room.

Mother Teresa had a sentimental heart and she appeared like a real mother. When I visited her, she came closer to me and said in an endearing tone, "God gives you happiness."

I was completely happy in imagination which was spilled all over me.

She was in peace and went to the window, "You are always engrossed in love, in life! There is more important than wants, struggles and thought."

I slowly look at her and smiled, "You like to love, forgiveness, companionship. Life is not easy as I think."

Mother Teresa began to speak, "Live easily and let others live easily. You have to understood the meaning of life at all. The meaning of life is not to keep yourself in misery. Yes, you can offer many people happiness".

I went on listening to what she said. If I am to tell truly I felt quite happy and at peace. I have met her because I loved her work. In most sense, to love her and not to be able to share her happiness both are opposite things.

The evening was getting engulfed in darkness outside. People appeared at the street sparingly. My eyes were filled with tears exactly like those of the great people.

I came to know that Mother Teresa died. The news made me sad. Mother Teresa was not a person to leave us so soon. She went away during the first half of her days of enjoying and being happy.

And now she became history from the present. I feel a kind of pain inside somewhere. I feel that I have lost a very close relative and so my heart is crying. Mother Teresa was now an example of how a woman can fight all alone in the society struggling against all odds. She was now a wonderful history. When I think of it I am filled with pain all over.

Nepali Journalist and Story Writer Kamala Sarup is an editor of peacejournalism.com. She is specialising in in-depth reporting and writing on Peace, Anti War, Women, Terrorism, Democracy, and Development. Some of her publications are: Women's Empowerment (Booklet). Prevention of trafficking in women through media,(Book) Efforts to Prevent Trafficking in for Media Activism (Media research). Two Stories collections. Her interests include international conflict resolution, cross-cultural communication, philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. Her current plans are to move on to humanitarian work in conflict areas in the near future. She also is experienced in organizational and community development. She has been nominated as Universal Peace Ambassador [2006] in the framework of the Universal Peace Ambassadors Circle, Geneva Switzerland.

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