Lyndon Hood: Ode in Apology to Helen Clark
Scoop Satire: Ode in Apology to Helen Clark
After careful deliberation, on behalf of the New Zealand Media,by Lyndon Hood
O,
let's not be beastly to Helen
She's got more than enough
on her plate.
For one thing, her creation:
The
sustainable nation!
At least till two thousand and
eight.
Why must we be horrid to Helen
(or Michael, or
Damien, or Pete)?
They try so hard, yet
What thanks do
they get?
Assessments I dare not repeat.
O, why do the
press hate the Government?
You'd think they'd play fair,
but instead,
What do they go and do
Given an
interview?
They report what the minister said!
O, why
don't the media play nicely,
And put their opinions
aside?
They just sit and heckle
They're no Doctor
Jeckyl
So can you be blamed if you Hyde?
In the golden
age (the early Eighties)
They just did (they were never
this bold!)
What all the MPs
On all sides agree
Is
their job - to repeat what they're told.
O Helen, I know
that it's irksome -
"The Free Press!" Cheer up! Could be
worse!
That free sort of press
In the end,
costs you less,
Than what's bought with the public
purse.
O Helen, was it something I did?
It's so
very easy you see
To say something vicious,
Or perhaps
(shh!) seditious,
When I find Parliament in contempt of
me.
O Helen, it's hard, but forgive us
Like children,
we haven't learned yet
That pride precedes a fall
-
We're only mortal, after all
Even if some of us do
forget.