Eye Witness: Oxfam Advocate Blogs From Inside Gaza
At least if I die, I will die with a little hope
Mohammed Ali, Oxfam’s Advocacy and Media Researcher, reports on the Israeli military operation from his home in Gaza city .
More entries at Oxfam New Zealand News Blog - Gaza
This
morning I heard people chanting outside, I wondered what it
was, and then, the lights came on – the electricity had
come back on, hurrah! I immediately turned on the
television, charged my phone, checked emails. For a moment,
I felt somewhat liberated. These things that we often take
for granted have become so precious of late.
We have
no clean water left. Our water tank is empty. My father
could not turn away the increasing amount of people knocking
at our door with empty jerry cans in hand. He did not
realise how much water he had given out until it was too
late. Shops are running out of clean water; we were not able
to find any in our neighbourhood. We can use the untreated
water but we should really boil it first to avoid getting
sick, but we face another obstacle; we have very little gas
left. We will just have to drink the unsterilised water so
that we can save the rest of the gas for cooking food. By
the way, if you have never cooked with a gas burner, I can
tell you, it makes the food taste of gasoline, the coffee
taste of gasoline, we now even smell of gasoline.
I
received a call from a good friend in Jabalyia, he was
telling me how awful life has become for his family; sonic
booms from F16 fighter planes constantly shake his home -
there is no chance of his six children and wife getting any
sleep. His sister has already evacuated and he wants to
leave as soon as he can. He has a small bag packed and ready
to go. I told him to bring his family and to stay with us -
I am expecting him to arrive at any moment.
The news
is getting more and more horrific as the situation here
deteriorates. The latest report I saw was of a child
clutching on to her dead parent’s bodies for four days
before anyone was able to come to her rescue, dogs are
starting to eat the corpses that no one has been able to
bury…this reality does not seem to be reaching some parts
of the world…is it censored because people cannot cope
with the truth of what is happening to us? If the truth
did get out, would it make a difference?
Fortunately,
we have a lot of solidarity and trust in our community, we
share what we have - I guess this is why we have just about
managed to feed ourselves. Some shopkeepers are allowing
people to buy food on credit; people’s debts are quickly
mounting up. But solidarity and trust will not feed us now
that food and everything else it seems, is running
out.
I applied for a scholarship in the UK several
months ago. I was expecting to find out in early January
whether or not my application was successful. I have been
waiting impatiently for days. I could not wait any longer so
I finally called the British Council; I wanted to know the
outcome to put my mind at rest. They told me that they would
call back in two minutes. During those two minutes I almost
stopped breathing – this scholarship is the only hope I
have at the moment for a better life. The lady called back
and said, “ I am afraid we do not have an answer yet for
you”. To which I responded, “ Please be honest with me,
is it that you really do not have an answer or that you do
not want to give me bad news at this point in
time?”
The possibility of going to the UK is giving me the hope I need to live. My wife thinks I am crazy, as I talk to her as if we are definitely going; I describe the friends we will have, the restaurants we will go to, the walks around the parks…
…at least if I
die, I will die with a little hope, the hope that I will
have the chance to live a better life, even if for now it is
but a dream.
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