2011 in Lyndon Hoods: Satire, Pics, and News in Review
For those of you who weren't paying attention: 2011 in satire, editorial images and coverage of some of the less official kind of news.
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
DECEMBER 2010
January: Tax working groups suggests moving the nation away from wild-consumer-spending consumption, towards Edwardian-waif-dying-picturesquely-while-coughing-up-bloody-mucus consumption. Amid rumours Attorney-General Chris Finlayson seems ‘a bit down’, National MPs begin planning bills he can issue damning Bill of Rights reports against. That always perks him up.
(top)
JANUARY
Sealing The Mine And Throwing Away The Key
We were waiting a while for John Key to hold a press conference on the Pike River announcement, so we got bored and made up our own.
KEY: Hullo!
PRESS: Has your Government had anything to do with the decision to cease the rescue operation?
K: Yeah, nah.
P: You do understand that the families would like to bury their loved ones?
K: Of course I do. And it's been hard for us too. There's tonnes and tonnes of coal trapped down there. Gerry's been distraught.
![one hundred
percent something something something solid energy,
lignite, coal, pollution](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/3d7bad9892d140c704dd.jpeg)
Coal Action Network slams lignite plans
(top)
FEBRUARY
“John Key PM” Wins 2011 Walters Prize For Modern Art
In a move that has already provoked controversy, John Key has been awarded the 2011 Walters Prize for his work “Prime Minister of New Zealand”. Political performance art is usually frowned on by the establishment and some have claimed the award was based solely on public popularity.
![but the writing has always been on the way, hasn't
it? Egypt hieroglyph twitter](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1102/40bd866b41aa7536ec1c.jpeg)
Click for big version
Gordon Campbell: On Mubarak’s divide and rule tactics
![guess we took
that recycling message to heart carrot, stick, social
welfare, corporate welfare](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/5dfe8a8cf695ca035a8f.jpeg)
Cover image for Werewolf 20 - Ten Myths About Welfare.
A variation on an old image.
![LOL :D
smiley face](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1102/132f9c9174a4b417bf26.jpeg)
Online advertising in NZ overtakes the $250m mark in 2010
![Not surprised it's an international crisis area with
those dirty great dominoes all over. middle east,
dominoes, domino effect, Yemen, Algeria, Bahrain, Egypt,
Iran](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1102/80e7916d703cc5632c32.jpeg)
Click for big version
Paul Buchanan: Middle Eastern Transitions - A Skeptic's View
![Wellington Sevens parade, sevens costumes,
French, French maids](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1102/a8670841f30f3ca7106c.jpeg)
Click for big version
Costumes On, Floats Ready – Sevens Parade Preshow Photos
See also 2011 Sevens Costumes: Part II, 2011 Sevens Costumes Photos: Part III, 2011 Wellington Sevens Costumes: Part IV
![a triumph of putting things on top of other things Guerilla Sculpture rock stack street art Wellington](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1103/fd172c75636067ae90b3.jpeg)
Click for big version
Spotted in Wellington: Guerilla Sculpture?
![OH HAI JOHN!
FORGIVE ME? KTXBAI! john key, let them eat cake, lazy
comparison](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/70f301255496ae7d27c0.jpeg)
Click for big version.
John Minto: What Right Has John Key To Lecture The Poor
![just take a few
deep breaths and calm down Science Media Centre says:
don't have a cow about it.](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/c6772223a3b264f1076f.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Meat 'gassing' - what are the facts?
![okay, fact is I
corrected the spelling for this. if you were wondering what
the joke about weflare was, there wasn't one welfare
working group, modest proposal](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/3c3db6839e982b563347.jpeg)
Gordon Campbell: On the Welfare Working Group final report
(top)
MARCH
Am I the only one with this frame of mind? The one that treats a statement like “there’s nothing funny about the earthquake” as a challenge to my capacity for irreverence?
Act Vs The Foreshore Bill: A Tale Of 119 Whales
After the misfiring of the ACT Party's attempt to delay the Marine and Coastal Area (Takutai Moana) Bill by extending question time, it seems fair that Scoop should share some notes on a previous effort.
During the committee stage of the bill, ACT MP Hilary Calvert proposed an intimidating list of amendments with the claimed intent to "to better reflect the intent of the Bill" (rather than, for example to delay it).
The majority of them were 119 proposed additions to clause 52, which relates to the treatment of stranded marine mammals. Each amendment sought to introduce, as subclause (1A), a specific reference to a different kind of whale, dolphin, seal, manatee or what have you.
![yes, it's a pidgeon. are you going to complain about
that? Christchurch earthquake vigil - Two minutes
silence in Civic Square, Wellington](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1103/e3a73435e70d0a1af21e.jpeg)
Click for big version
Scoop Images: Two Minute Silence At Civic Square
![is there
some way of measuring the colour of the internet? was it
more black and red this year](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/655a5940910ac7f81096.jpeg)
3/3/11: Statement from the Governor-General Regarding Earthquake - Change From Rescue To Recovery Focus
From NZDF photo
![that's a black
and red flag. I'm not sure I can tell flag at half
mast, black and red, Canterbury earthquakes, christchurch,
eqnz](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/f115b5b5e73b5479b932.jpeg)
National Christchurch Memorial Service Info & Programme
![still, we won,
right? march 2011, christchurch loses rugby world cup
games after earthquake](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/a02c096ee152f4f9bd09.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Christchurch hosting RWC 2011 games decision
![literally a lunatic Ken Ring's lunacy,
earthquake, prediction, cartoon](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1103/334945e8e8b892602aec.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Werewolf: You Have Been Mooned
I didn't draw the picture, but here it is anyway.
(top)
APRIL
Werewolf: Learning To Read The PM
Earlier in the year, when asked what he really thought about something, Prime Minister John Key said, “I’m leaving it until my book. I know the answer, but just wait until my book.” After an unprecedented two-and-a-half month investigation, Werewolf can now reveal he was talking about this…
I was
walking down the road, and I saw a Prime
Minister!
(hee-haw)
And he’d ‘forgotten’ about a
pile of Tranzrail shares.
He was a shonky John
Key.
![ami logo,
sad face](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/1b431d6bbad704c81be7.jpeg)
AMI Secures Capital Support
![sing along. you can guess the words. The Shonky
John Key](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1104/d371faf535d67b63a6f4.jpeg)
Click for big version
Werewolf: Learning To Read The PM
![fyi phil goff is
not generally considered 'the most dangerous game' shonky john key, clearly lucky, roulette, cards up
sleeve, john key, phil goff](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/d3a70c1f98e60c58b0c1.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Unused for the above: 'clearly lucky'.
![and fwiw I, too,
wish the ground would just stop shaking already down there canterbury earthquakes](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/078cd56f99c33dfc0ea6.jpeg)
Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Bill Passes
![see that? I put a
dollar sign on. genius. playstation, scam, hack,
dollar sign](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/2021f9290875b23e7d69.jpeg)
PlayStation scam warning
(top)
MAY
Goff Disappointed As World Fails To End
Close friends say they are worried for Labour Leader Phil Goff, who is increasingly disappointed that predictions the world would end last weekend did not come true.
The destruction of the universe was widely considered Labour’s best chance of winning this year’s general election.
![just because I
had to explain this one recently: it's John Key in a
popemobile john key, popemobile](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1105/1468d345215700ff7464.jpeg)
Gordon Campbell: On the alleged threats to John Key
![what strange beast is slouching towards jerusalem... rugby, religion, rugby world cup](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1105/bd56c53e78028079a26a.jpeg)
Click for big version
Werewolf: Funding The National Religion
![trivia: 'just an empty suit' is not already a
description of the Prime Minister John Key, rapture](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1105/be7688fc1747e6b209bc.jpeg)
Click for big version
Werewolf : Goff Disappointed As World Fails To End
(top)
JUNE
Werewolf: The Antipodean Nights’ Entertainments
Once there was a mighty Prince who was extremely mindful of his own mortality. He decided to ensure his legacy by having a child. Yet, having married, he realised that if he died and left his wife with a baby, she might end up on the DPB. So to spare her that widely-recognised dishonour, he immediately had her executed.
Much to the distress of the court, he repeated this pattern several times. Finally a wise young woman, the Grand Vizier’s daughter, agreed to marry the prince. And she distracted him from his brooding by telling him stories.
![hey I know that
guy. was he one of the goal kickers for the world cup? orange election man, camera, broadcasting
allocation](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/2555c53a280c20cd2c50.jpeg)
2011 Broadcasting Allocation Decision Released
![patients have
alcohol, staff have whine. ahahaha. hospital, liquor,
alcohol, drunk, health policy](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/9d5471d5038344a5b8c7.jpeg)
Intoxicated patients an increasing problem hospitals
![I had to expain to a co-worker what I was up to
making this. Glad she asked. photoshop meme: Vancouver
Riot Kissing Couple v Max Key planking](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1106/f47d3a51657b74302c35.jpeg)
Click for big version
Meme Break: Vancouver Riot Kissing Couple v Max Key
![As featyred in the actual New Zealand Listener.
*WOOT*. Kim Hill here I come. photoshop meme:
Vancouver Riot Kissing Couple v Max Key planking](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1106/bdbc08a895ce942aea63.jpeg)
Click for big version
Ditto
![In return for the
right to build a new casino, they will build a new casino john key, sky tower, gambling](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/3e76fe5bb018582443e5.jpeg)
Click for big version.
SkyCity seeks expanded gambling for convention centre deal
![HELLO
POSSUMS^d^d^d^d^d^d^dDRAGON! the hobbit, barry
Humphries, dame edna](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/6efc960c3b042c5debff.jpeg)
Hobbit Casting: Evangeline Lilly, Barry Humphries
![He does not
drink... milk. roger douglas, dracula](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/16a19b1ddfeb275957b6.jpeg)
Roger Douglas: Don’t Stop There Jim
![alladin meets the old man of
the poli-sea john key, don brash, old man of the sea,
arabain nights, alladin](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1106/f5e4e03ff2dc666c7a69.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Werewolf: The Antipodean Nights’ Entertainments
![from a different
angle you can tell their fingers are even further from the
peak than it looks like taj mahal, john key, max key,
planking](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/27a87cc9df503c3cabbd.jpeg)
Special bonus Max-Key-Planking pic.
(top)
JULY
![it was always
going to be difficult to harmonise NZ's scheme with
Australia's whne ours is so flat carbon tax, ets,
emissions, climate change, global warming](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/1081528bccd016dab0c8.jpeg)
Australia puts a price on carbon
![Oh, TPP, what new
entertainment will you offer us? tobacco, cigarettes,
health warning, litigation, trade](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/9b20644129f9889db489.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Tobacco Bullies Use Trade Agreements Against Public Health
![Surveilled enough
yet? Because we have some more ideas... sis, new
Zealand, phone tapping, surveillance](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/dfc72f76f0c1f7106e79.jpeg)
Katene: New Zealand Security Intelligence Amendment Bill
![Aww, Don'
be sad!](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/99b6d278fb30ce209fea.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Bonus pic: Don Brash meets Sad Keanu
![And who would
want to sleep over with the Government anyway? sleepover wages, bed, money, employment](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/3899138829ae319a5eaf.jpeg)
“Too little too late”- workers to Government sleepover offer
![Ball drops. Fern sculpture ('Fernball') being
held by a crane as it is taken down for repairs in Civic
Square, Wellington](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1107/31941619595af40b1ff2.jpeg)
Click for big version
Image: Crane Holds Civic Square Fern Ball
(top)
AUGUST
Sometimes I think, if I should
chance to be
crushed by a falling lump of masonry
my
motives may be viewed suspiciously
due to, upon me, the
discovery
of passports (between zero and twenty);
not
one but two notebooks – and fully three
assorted
pencils! – worse, they see
notes made in light verse
(not quite poetry)
on current political
policy.
Perhaps I’ll be on the TV.
![which was about the
Christchurch-earthquake-dead-Israelis-SIS-media-storm thing,
in case you were wondering. probably slightly clearly from
the text. things that rhyme with ess](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1108/ees.jpg)
Werewolf: Sestina SIStina Barcelona
![shill games trade me, fraud, crime, shill bidding](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/482cda2d6066349869ca.jpeg)
Shill bidding: Unlawful, unethical and dumb
![someone claimed to not get this one. really? lyndon hood - john key, narnia, youth](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1108/a1665df639465f165709-1.jpeg)
Gordon Campbell: On the Government’s latest plans to Americanise the welfare system
![IF IT'S SO HOT WHY IS IT SNOWING!!!! QED!!! wellington snow](http://wellington.scoop.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/snow-cbd.jpg)
Click for big version.
Wellington.Scoop: Wellington hit by morning and afternoon snowfalls (First two photos are mine.)
See also Wellington Snow Photos: Lower Hutt and Video: Wellington snow - Petone to Waterloo.
![fishcow will also
answer you quesitons. if you are pur eof heart, it will give
you the answer you need, not the one you want. cow,
fish, agriculture, fisheries, merger](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/9df0849862cb75c8fb9b.jpeg)
MAF/MFish merger to realise savings; front line secure
![rose
tinted glasses, red 3d glasses](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/1ce78bf90f370b4677ae.jpeg)
World Week Ahead: Perception sets the agenda
![financial tremors
also continue eqnz, Canterbury earthquake,
costs](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/78a374dd96cb0f14e49f.jpeg)
Deficit blows out to $18bn as EQC kitty falls $1.1bn short
(top)
SEPTEMBER
DAY ONE The minister has tasked me with investigating the state of workplace safety in New Zealand. After that she went back to the departmental budget – as I left I heard her telling someone there was a recession on and there was no money for new carpets or filing cabinets or air conditioning and there were people in Christchurch who would be grateful to have carpets at all.
First priority: background. Examined the departmental statistics.
We have, actually, been known to prosecute employers. Not sure how to feel about this, officially. One might consider it to be Doing Our Jobs, but there is also the need to balance this with letting employers, who are the lifeblood of our economy, do whatever they like. This is called Ease Of Doing Business.
I stopped in to see how the inspectorate was going. He said he was fine.
![when Wales
seceeds, we'll be first in the queue for an FTA kiwi,
dragon, new Zealand, wales](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/91af5849f0fc69007ebe.jpeg)
First Minister of Wales Impressed With Kiwi Business
![following up on
what an Australian might think of: you can indeed by sheep
on trade me trade me, kiwi, kangaroo, new Zealand,
australia](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/2fe324cd08c68e48c3d9.jpeg)
Trade Me may look for offshore growth, Fairfax CEO says
![*joek about that
bit in the sahakespeare play where they all go 'hail!'* wellington hail](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/0ea0d74d603fcb913149.jpeg)
Scoop Images: Wellington Hail in the CBD 13/9/11
![it's not Brash that makes me consider legalising
getting stoned. though he has made me wonder about stoning. Don Brash, Bob Marley, Marijuana](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1109/720496329822d25fe54c.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On the Act Party’s latest policy contortions
(top)
OCTOBER
“I took ship from Bremerhaven, as you know, with a fair wind and a bold heart, but lady luck was soon to change her face. On the third day there arose a storm of unimaginable size – the waves were as high as houses, then as high as mountains; strange howlings came from the ocean; passing whales begged to be allowed on board as on that night the sea was no place for a creature of God; and I personally was struck by lightning three times...
“I don’t know if you’ve ever been trapped under several fathoms of water, struggling to escape and deprived of oxygen, as you face your apparently inevitable expiration knowing that no matter what convulsions you go through or how loudly you shout no living soul will know or care. It’s uncomfortably like being Phil Goff."
![balls. Rugby Ball, fern, fernball, Wellington,
Civic Square, sculpture, Neil Dawson, Rugby World Cup, RWC](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1110/b7dc854a7d3d5318a142.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Rubgy Ball Lodged On Civic Square Fern Ball
ACT Website Policy Pages: Bacon Goes With Everything!
An unfinished ACT election policy section has been published on their website. Instead of policy descriptions the pages at http://www.act.org.nz/policies were filled with a mixture of latin words and name of kinds of meat...
![child,
youth, justice, courts](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/7186d95048cce9222217.jpeg)
Alternative court processes for child witnesses
![goodbye, English
rose... England, rose, rugby, world cup, wet](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/e10c39d40c7952a4df54.jpeg)
England team member jumps from Devonport ferry, swims to wharf, warned by police
![i heart (attack)
rugby rugby, heart, rugby ball, health, sport](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/3cd42ea8533634c22d9d.jpeg)
CPIT rugby research measures heartfelt response
![rumble in the
electoral sphere fraser ali, mmp, elections,
referendum, orange election man](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/f3017c525dd730900dea.jpeg)
For Werewolf 27: Why MMP Is Still The Best Option
(top)
NOVEMBER
Strange And Bizarre: Scoop Satire: A Tea Ceremony
[JOHN 1 and JOHN 2 enter a cafe, bow to each other, and sit in facing seats at a cafe table.]
WAITER: Can I help you?
JOHN 1: I would like a Symbolic Cup Of Tea.
JOHN 2: I too would like a Symbolic Cup Of Tea.
[Waiter bows. Waiter opens a cupboard and removes a Key Ring. Waiter unlocks a Safe which contains a small Gong. Waiter places Gong beside Espresso Machine and Strikes the Gong once.]
[Camera flash.]
![has been described as an insufficient exaggeration of
NZ's opinions on beneficiaries David Low, Colonel
Blimp, parody, welfare, new zealand, election 2011, nzvotes,
votenz, Lyndon Hood](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1111/9fa4caa5b6117b01a959.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Satire: Vote Colonel Blimp For Welfare Reform
![CAN HAS ELECTED? Don Brash, Peter Dunne,
Invisible Ukulele, election, debate, nzvotes, votenz, new
zealand, election 2011](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1111/e8067a85e6bfd6e34c6b.jpeg)
Adapted from TVNZ Images: Minor Party Leaders Debate
![painting
depending on the numbers](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/62e555f0ef1c1a6879fe.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On some possible options for the Greens
![law planned so I
can't get in trouble for stuff like the Blimp thing. Not
that I think I would. We're cool right? gareth reeves,
ghost chips, satire and parody](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/7ad014da2244ed1e5c75.jpeg)
Greens make a real NZ First
![the moment the saddleback campaign lost its
media-friendly image saddleback, saddle, fall,
wellington, midland park](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1111/c8cc42619d39cb0e34e2.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Scoop Images: Saddleback Bird Of The Year Event
![based on actual
alchemaic thingummies Epsom, election, john banks,
national, act, cup to tea, teacup, teapot](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1111/03ffc133c906d5696edb.jpeg)
Scoop Satire: A Tea Ceremony
!['tapes'. I mean,
honestly. Epsom, election, john banks, national, act,
cup to tea, teacup, teapot, tapes, audio, recording](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/75150ec957bfbb19a364.jpeg)
Gordon Campbell on the Banks/Key taping saga
![sort of a fire
sale, anyway... solid energy, state woned enterprises,
asset sales, partial privatisation](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/500d2ae510d4987a86e5.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On Epsom, and dodgy aspects of the asset sales programme
(top)
DECEMBER
![we are the orange
elector elections, orange election man, poverty,
homelessness](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/c1c1e7c3eab95283b76c.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Low-income voters election feedback
![i imagine most
experiments are actually performed on animals other than
guinea pigs, but you get the drift charter schools,
elections, nzvotes, guinea pig, education, national,
act](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/05ad6d53d82e7e40618a.jpeg)
Gordon Campbell: On charter schools
![meet the new
boss, same as the old boss election, nzvotes,
coalition, national, act, maori party, united future, john
key, peter dunne, tariana turia, john
banks](http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/1201/668fda332d36bf164d22.jpeg)
Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On the coalition agreements
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