It’s Official: Young Nats Fizz Over Green Party ‘big Loan’ Energy

It’s official: the Young Nats have lost their fiscal conservatism, relegated to a social club of public policy misfits and losers who weren’t cool enough for the Greens.

Earlier today, the Young Nats joined Green Party MP Chlöe Swarbrick in calling for the indefinite continuation of interest-free student loans - the expensive transfer to the middle and upper class brats going to university dreamed up by Grant Robertson and Jacinda Ardern while working to keep Helen Clark in power.

Unsurprisingly the news was warmly welcomed by Green’s Tertiary Education spokesperson, Chlöe Swarbrick. Reports from the Nat’s WhatsApp suggest that, like the Young Nats, she’s “fizzing”.

“Chloe can’t believe her luck,” says Jordan Williams, a Taxpayers’ Union spokesman. “Christopher Luxon can’t believe this is the ‘future’ of his Party."

“Gone are the Young Nat glory days of Chris Bishop and Winston Peters.”

“Many students have been affected by the cost-of-living crisis off the back of Grant Robertson’s money printing. But the financially illiterate wannabe-cool Young Nats can’t see that interest-free loans lead to both lending constraints and reduce proper funding of universities so Kiwi kids have to head off-shore for a worthwhile degree.”

As noted by Eric Crampton, Chief Economist at the New Zealand Initiative think tank, interest on student loans means students could borrow more while studying.

“It says a lot about our education system that the Young Nats are more interested in adopting Green and Labour Party policy than studying the ideology they are supposed to defend. Big government, big loans – that's the other side, chaps! If PolSci is too hard, what hope is there for teaching this lot economics?”

“Are these pinkos the future of the National Party? I hope not – for New Zealand and the National Party’s sake,” said Mr Williams.

If there are *any* members of the Young Nats who are fiscally conservative they will no doubt feel without a home after today. We will happily provide refuge within the Taxpayers’ Union – New Zealand’s largest youth-wing advocacy group. They should apply to join our popular student internship programme via the website.”

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