Calling Women ‘Too Emotional’ Weakens Us All

The stereotypical and unwelcome practice of calling women ‘too emotional’ is still all too common in New Zealand’s business environment, and while it is easy to call for change, any real shift will only happen when society starts to recognise emotion as a strength and not a sign of weakness.

Simone-Ellen Keller, founder of Genius You , says the stereotype of seeing emotions as a weakness is deeply ingrained, as most women will have experienced.

Keller says emotions are not a weakness—they are a fundamental part of the human experience and a source of strength. The issue lies not with the emotions themselves but with our collective discomfort and misunderstanding of them.

“Women are better at expressing their emotions. Men just hide it, or they shout, but without emotion, it is difficult for us to connect both personally and professionally. Emotions make us human, but how we translate emotions triggers how we respond to a situation, for better or worse.

“Part of the problem is that New Zealand society often allows men to express anger—a defence emotion—while shaming women for showing vulnerability, a core emotion.”

Keller says our discomfort with emotions stems from a lack of understanding.

“We have been taught to suppress them, particularly in professional or public settings, under the guise of being ‘rational’ or ‘professional’. But this suppression does not eliminate emotions; it only drives them underground, where they can fester and influence our behaviour in ways we may not fully understand,” she says.

Emotional literacy is key to navigating this landscape.

"The difference between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion is critical. Use them to navigate your life, and that’s not just about moving towards emotions that make us happy and away from those that do not—all emotions have a purpose, and we should not run away from any of them.”

Keller says the first step towards emotional literacy is to stop seeing emotions as something to be controlled or eliminated. Instead, we should view them as valuable tools that can guide our decisions and actions.

Here are three tips to help you harness the power of your emotions:

1. Be Led by Values

Your emotions are a response to your values. When you feel strongly about something, it's often because it aligns with—or contradicts—your core beliefs. Use this understanding to guide your actions.

2. Differentiate Between Feeling and Expressing

It's essential to recognise the difference between what you feel and how you express it. Just because you feel anger, for example, doesn't mean you need to lash out. Instead, use that anger as a signal to explore what is causing it and how you can address the root issue constructively.

3. Embrace Emotional Literacy

Learn to identify and understand your emotions. This involves more than just naming them; it requires examining what triggers them, how they manifest in your body, and how they influence your thoughts and actions. By doing so, you can use your emotions to navigate challenges rather than being overwhelmed by them.

“We should recognise emotions as a source of insight and strength.

“Emotional literacy is not just about managing emotions; it's about understanding and using them to lead a more fulfilling life. By embracing this approach, we can move beyond outdated stereotypes and foster a society where both men and women can express their emotions freely and authentically,” says Keller.

ABOUT

One of New Zealand’s leading brand strategists, wife and mother, Simone, had everything going for her, but things weren’t as perfect as they seemed. Hard work, tension and the pressures of relationships with the people closest to her, Simone knew something had to change before it was too late.

Using the techniques, thinking and experience she applied to creating world-class brands, Simone embarked on a journey of research, soul searching and personal transformation. Out of that journey emerged the Genius You system for rapid personal development.

These days Simone lives a life enriched with strong, healthy relationships while she builds her own company dedicated to helping others be brilliant— work she loves. Simone has spent the last nine years working with hundreds of people, changing lives, transforming relationships, and steadily honing the Genius You programme into a ‘superpower’ system that lets people take control of their lives now and into the future.

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