Death And Grief Are All Around Us – And This Time Of Year Is Hard

As the festive season approaches, many of us will be taking time to remember loved ones who have died, with new research from Grief Centre and the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand showing 1 in every 2 New Zealanders has had a family member die in the last two years, and almost 1 in 3 have had a friend die.

The research reveals grief after loss from a death or other loss event impacts the ability of over 50% of New Zealanders to function in their personal and professional lives because of its effect on mental wellbeing. The average intensity of grief was rated at 7.1/10 with women rating their grief statistically more severe than men, but there was little difference as to how people experienced grief across the different age groups.

General Manager Grief Centre, Katrina King says the research is a stark reminder that grief needs to be recognised and those grieving need support.

“Grief is big for people and particularly at this time of the year, when the death of a loved one is highlighted through their absence in family traditions. Our research showed that 20% of people had accessed professional support for their grief but most of us rely on family and friends for support and the reality is that they might not be equipped to provide the best support.”

Attending a funeral is also revealed as a grief support tool with nearly 80% of New Zealanders believing that attending a funeral or tangihanga makes a positive impact on their grief journey.

President of the Funeral Directors Association, Andrew Malcolm, says that’s no surprise supporting their anecdotal experience that the rituals, ceremonies and human support offered through a funeral help families move through the early days of grief.

“Whether it’s a traditional and large event, or something smaller and more personalised, we see examples every day of the huge value a meaningful farewell ceremony brings to the people left behind,” says Andrew.

“It’s also why at this time of the year many people take comfort from remembrance services run by funeral homes in their community. It can be a great support to gather with others who are also mourning.”

Acknowledging that this is a difficult time of year for grief, Grief Centre is currently raising awareness about how we can remember and celebrate loved ones with their “A Moment to Remember” campaign.

Katrina says, “This is about people taking a moment – either by themselves, with friends and family, or even colleagues – to remember and celebrate a loved one by doing something that reminds you of them.”

“We’re also hoping people will support us with a donation this week, perhaps in lieu of a Christmas gift or as an acknowledgement of a loved one. While our research told us over 50% of people thought support for grief counselling should be Government funded, the reality is it’s not. We need to find new ways to support people to continue to function through the intense grief we are all going to feel at some stage in our lives,” she says.

For more information about the campaign, visit griefcentre.org.nz

Attached are the results of the 'National Grief Survey 2024,' conducted by Marble Consulting and Dynata on behalf of the Grief Centre and the Funeral Directors Association.

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