Consumer NZ Valentine's Day Alert: Beware The Red Flags

Consumer NZ is warning New Zealanders to be on high alert this Valentine’s Day as romance scammers flip the typical scam protection advice on its head.

Ruairi O’Shea, Consumer NZ investigative writer, says romance scams are particularly insidious because they don’t follow the typical patterns associated with scams.

“Romance scams work because they bypass the red flags we’re trained to look out for. Instead of demanding urgent action or sending texts with links out of the blue, romance scammers build trust over months,” says O’Shea.

“And unlike an unsolicited text with a dodgy link, you may have even initiated first contact by swiping left on a dating app. It’s a slow burn, with scammers building trust before recommending investment opportunities or asking for intimate pictures that they could use to blackmail a person.

“Victims genuinely believe they’re in a relationship: they trust the other person implicitly and believe that person will act in their best interests.”

Between 2023 and 2024, a French woman was targeted by a scammer using generative artificial intelligence (AI) to successfully convince her she was speaking to the American actor Brad Pitt. She was scammed out of almost NZ$1.5 million.

“Romance scams can be utterly devastating because of the financial and emotional toll they take.

“Love is a strong incentive, and sadly, scammers know this and exploit it.”

Recognising these three ‘red flags’ can protect you from romance scams

The long game

Unlike traditional scams that rely on urgency, romance scammers play the long game. O’Shea says this slow-building trust makes victims more likely to overlook the more common or “typical” signs of a scam.

The investment

Once the scammer is confident they’ve established trust, they will begin exploiting.

“It might start with the scammer revealing a seemingly minor financial stress, and because they feel committed to this relationship, the victim may even proactively offer to help resolve the problem.

“Later, the scammer might casually recommend an investment opportunity, which, unfortunately, turns out to be fake.”

Strictly online

“It’s not new to hear of someone who is in a happy, committed relationship, with kids, a dog and a house, after having initially met their partner on a dating app.

“What is new, however, is the sophisticated way in which scammers are using AI to basically turbocharge their authenticity,” O’Shea says.

“Be suspicious if the person you meet online is reluctant to get together in the flesh. Their reasons for keeping a relationship secret or online can be incredibly convincing – health, travel, work, family – but if you can’t meet them in person, you shouldn’t trust them.”

4 don’ts to protect yourself and those you love (in real life) from romance scams

Don’t keep it on the down-low – talk to friends and family about online relationships: a fresh pair of eyes could help spot the signs of a scam.

Don’t give someone anything you wouldn’t post publicly on social media – this isn’t just intimate photographs but also your address or other potentially sensitive personal information.

Don’t send money to anyone you’ve only communicated with online – if you haven’t met someone in person, don’t give them anything of monetary value.

Don’t move to another messaging service – if you meet someone on a dating platform and they suggest moving to an encrypted messaging service like WhatsApp, be suspicious.

What to do if you’re the victim of a romance scam

If you’re the victim of a romance scam, contact the Police, Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support, your bank and Netsafe (the nation’s non-profit online safety organisation) immediately: a scam doesn’t necessarily end when a victim realises they’ve been scammed.

It’s also important to report online scams to CERT NZ, part of the National Cyber Security Centre. The National Cuber Security Centre runs Own Your Online and the service has helpful advice on how to spot a scam and what to do if you get caught out.

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