Couples find support from unexpected sources
FOR USE 3 JANUARY
Couples find support from unexpected sources
People often discuss relationship problems, not with professional counsellors, but with their family, friends, GPs, nurses, school teachers, church ministers and community elders, a Families Commission study has found.
As part of the study Reaching Out: Who New Zealanders turn to for relationship support researchers talked in depth to 50 people to find out how they accessed information and support to sustain their couple relationships. Questions were also asked about what helped them seek support and what hindered them.
“Understanding how couples find support is
important. We know that when relationships go wrong they can
seriously affect people’s emotional, mental and physical
health; their work productivity; and the wellbeing of their
children,” says Chief Commissioner Dr Jan Pryor.
The research found that most people turned first to family and friends for relationship support, rather than to services. They were often looking for a ‘listening ear’, practical advice, and sometimes an intervention.
A surprising finding, not found in overseas research, was the tendency to talk to professionals other than counsellors about relationship problems.
“Our study found that people who distrust formal counselling services, who keep problems to themselves, or have limited social networks were more likely to open up to professional people they already had trust in such as GPs, Plunket nurses and midwives,” says Dr Pryor. “They were also more open to receiving help from these people, and going along to counselling if these people suggested it.”
“It suggests that a lot of help and support is going on ‘behind the scenes’. It would make sense for more work to be done to see if these people felt they were well equipped to offer this support to couples,” says Dr Pryor.
In general, participants were not aware of the options for formal support provided by counselling professionals. The cost and scepticism about its benefits were also among the barriers to people seeking this type of help. Some saw formal counselling as a last resort.
“This study is a first step in the Commission’s research into building a better understanding of how couple relationships are supported in New Zealand. We hope it will be useful for organisations working to strengthen and support couple relationships and prompt new thinking and discussion about the provision of information and support.”
ENDS