Plea For Parents To Always Look For The Positives

Peaceful Warrior Makes Plea For Parents To Always Look For The Positives In Their Kids

Peaceful Warrior Hayden Henry makes a plea that no matter how troublesome a young person is, parents, teachers and friends should take a different look at them to see what they are good at and what talents they have.

With that observation, he says, there can be much to praise and with praise and positive attention these kids can make the decisions to adjust their behaviour.

The evidence that this pathway works was again reinforced during a three day wananga held as part of Ngaiterangi Iwi’s Peaceful Warrior initiative. Eight intermediate age young people were able to interact with a range of adults and learn about the impact of their behaviour on other people.

The children were selected to be part of a self discovery programme held at the Tahuwhakatiki Marae in Welcome Bay that targets violence, graffiti and drug and alcohol issues.

He says not only were they exploring ways of managing anger, wilful damage, and dealing with alcohol and drug abuse, which can be all around them, they also revisited the family values of respect and aroha.

“Those are positive things that can be understood and once they begin to practice them these young people begin to feel good about themselves. Respect breeds respect.

“There were some strong moments. We had some of our wahine come in to share their experiences with the participants so they could see for themselves the hurt and suffering experienced by mothers as a result of young peoples’ anger getting out of control.

“Because we have some families without positive male role models, our young men are at times disrespectful within the family unit. So we focused on their role within the family and gave them a better understanding of how they fit in,” says Henry.

Henry says after all his years working with young people - often very angry young people - he can always see good in the young faces.

He says in some instances he can understand the anger, knowing what they have to deal with in their lives. But he says there are always opportunities for parents, family and friends to do simple things that can lead to positive changes in young lives.

Henry says often the frustration of not being able to make things better in their own families makes them angry and when they are angry they get into trouble. When they are in trouble the picture they have of themselves becomes negative which leads them to more trouble and conflict with their parents and teachers.

He says discussions during the wananga showed the kids know that once they have been identified by a parent or teacher as being a trouble maker it is very hard to change that view.

But Henry says any parent who seeks to change the way they interact with their kids and model their own behaviour and actions in order to change and modify their childrens’ will always have full commitment from the Peaceful Warrior team.

“We are our children and our chldren are us. Our goal is to help our young people through the good works of whanau.”

“For parents living with some of these kids it can be heavy, but it needn’t be.

“All it sometimes takes is the warmth generated by a spark of positivity. Giving praise is the lightest thing in the world because it is just a change in thought that is needed and thoughts weigh nothing.”

“There is no longer any need or value in blaming people or events or situations. Clean slating, blue ocean thinking and forward looking people are what our communities need,” he says.

Also at the wananga was rugby league coach and mentor Bruce French who has worked with young people over the past five years.
He says the kids have learned more about themselves and where they come from with maurakau (taiaha training) and through listening to the speakers.

“There are a lot of things they can learn from the past like, respect, trust and loyalty to the people around them,” says French.

The work of the wananga carries on after the three-day event with the participants being monitored and mentored over the next two months before another get together to reinforce what has been learned.

ENDS

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