Lowest Number of Divorces for 20 years

Media Statement – For Immediate Release 5 May, 2010

Lowest Number of Divorces for 20 years

The number of divorces granted last year was 8,700, the lowest since 1989 according to figures released today.
Relationship Services, New Zealand’s largest provider of professional counselling and relationship education, provided couple counselling to 16,600 people in last year.

“We have seen a significant increase in the number of people seeking counselling through the Family Court over the past year,” said Jeff Sanders, Chief Executive of Relationship Services.

“Relationships are very important to people, whether married or de facto, and every day we work with people who really want good personal relationships. Separation and divorce is not an easy process for anyone.”

Many people don’t realise that some free counselling is available when their relationship is in trouble. “We know this helps many people, whether they decide to keep working on their relationship or to separate,” said Mr Sanders.
6,700 children under the age of 17 were affected by their parents divorce last year and 3,200 of them were under the age of 10. “When couples with children separate or divorce, it’s really important that they separate ‘well’”, said Mr Sanders.

“We know that separation can have a major impact on children so it is really important that in the midst of their own distress, parents find support and information about how to keep their children from harm.”

The figures also showed that about one-third of people married in 1984 were divorced by 2009.

“That means that up to two thirds of those who married in 1984 celebrated their Silver Wedding Anniversary last year,” said Mr Sanders. “When you think of everything people go through over 25 years, a Silver Wedding Anniversary is certainly worth celebrating.”

Tips for Making Marriage Work:

Relationship Services has some tips for making relationships work:
1. Know what is going on in each others lives and what matters to your partner.
2. Be affectionate and show respect for each other.
3. Talk to each other about the little things as well as the big stuff.
4. Share the decision-making; let your partner influence you.
5. Some issues can be resolved if you focus less on winning and more on finding a solution you can both live with.
6. If you can’t solve the problem, try to find a way the two of you can live with your different positions.
7. Enjoy the good times and each other; share your hopes and goals for the future.

Based on the book ‘The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work’ by John Gottman

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