Loving does not equal spending

2 February 2012

Loving does not equal spending

Nothing puts pressure on relationships like financial stress… except perhaps financial stress on Valentine’s Day. How can you buy your loved one a gift when you have no cash? How can you show them what they mean to you when you have no money for electricity this month?

Raewyn Fox, CEO of the Federation of Family Budgeting Services, says you can still have romantic time this Valentine’s Day without spending a lot. “When a couple is suffering from financial strain, setting aside some romantic time together can be a welcome relief. But that doesn’t mean it needs to cost very much at all.”

“At this time of year many of our budgeting clients are still getting over Christmas and the cost of outfitting their children for school,” Fox says. “It is a stressful time, but still people feel they are expected to present their partner with a huge bouquet of flowers, expensive jewellery or fancy chocolates.” So how can you show your love while keeping the budget under control? Here are Fox’s five suggestions:

1. Give time. “In many relationships the people are so busy they barely see each other, and when they do the communication is about organising the kids, planning the week, busy, busy, busy. This Valentine’s Day why not set aside some time to talk with your partner like you used to? Keep the conversation away from work and other daily subjects,” Fox suggests. “I think your partner will enjoy simply spending time with you.”

2. Have a romantic meal, at home. “I know of clients who really wanted to visit their favourite restaurant but the budget just wouldn’t stretch that far. Instead, they put the kids to bed and set up the dining table like it was a fancy restaurant, with a nice white table cloth and a candle. The meal was what they were going to have anyway, but the atmosphere felt more romantic. It’s nice to do something special like this for your loved one,” Fox says. “I’ve also heard of people having a picnic in their lounge or backyard, if the weather holds.”

3. “Consider giving hand-made coupons this Valentine’s Day. It’s a no-cost way to show your partner that you recognise all the things they do for the family,” Fox says. Your coupons could be to do some chores, for a neck or foot massage, or even to take the kids out for a period of time to give them a break. “Put a date on the coupons to make it all the more real. For example: ‘I will take the kids out this Saturday between 2 and 4pm’”.

4. While roses are the traditional flowers given on Valentine’s Day, “they are incredibly expensive at this time of year. Roses – or any cut flowers – look great at the time but over the next few days gradually fade away until they end up in the compost or bin,” Fox points out. “Wouldn’t it be great to give your partner something that will only look better with time? Consider a potted plant, particularly one that will bloom every year. Each time they see it they’ll think of you.”

5. “Finally,” says Fox, “the best advice I can offer people over Valentine’s Day is to keep debt-free. Think very carefully before purchasing a Valentine’s Day gift using a credit card (unless you can pay it off immediately), or borrowing money to purchase a gift. This January alone our new clients came to us owing $1.5 million on retail goods and store cards. That’s almost $1,000 per person.”

“Remember that Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to show your partner that you love them, not how much you can buy them. You can keep to your budget and still have a great Valentine’s Day.”

The New Zealand Federation of Family Budgeting Services is a network of community budgeting services offering free, confidential, non-judgemental budgeting advice. Find a free budget adviser on www.familybudgeting.org.nz or by calling 0508 BUDGETLINE (283 438).

ENDS

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