Relationships matter in later life

Relationships matter in later life

A new web-based resource for older people tackles some of the big relationship issues faced in later life, including sexual intimacy and re-partnering.

The new resource, a collaboration between Relationships Aotearoa and Age Concern New Zealand, can be found on both organisations’ websites.

Satisfying relationships, including intimate relationships, are important to the wellbeing of all people, including older people, both organisations say.

“Intimate relationships in later life can be affected by life events such as retirement, changes in living arrangements, changes in family and community commitments, changes in health, the need to care for or be cared for by a spouse, the onset of dementia or the death of a spouse,” Age Concern New Zealand Chief Executive Ann Martin says.

“As with any changes that require us to adapt, they can present challenges to the individuals concerned and their families so relationships information and support must be available for them,” says Relationships Aotearoa Acting Chief Executive Shenagh Gleisner.

There will also be older people who are separating or entering new relationships, Shenagh Gleisner says.

“If you’re telling yourself ‘it’s too late to change’, this will prevent you from asking for help – it is not too late “

“Older people’s experience of relationships can be affected by ageist myths and stereotypes,” says Ann Martin.

“For example, expectations of decline in sexual activity, society’s youth-orientated view of attractiveness, and ambivalence by family members towards an older relative forming a new relationship, can all present obstacles to older people,” she says.

“In residential care, the attitudes of both family members and staff to intimacy and sexuality, can result in a lack of sensitivity to the needs and desires of residents,” Ann Martin adds.

The resources were tested with a group of older people. Below are some of the comments received:

“These days retirement or other ending of full time work can come unexpectedly so early preparation is worthwhile. Too many people suddenly lose their main occupier of time, their satisfying use of skills, their status and companionship and find the gap devastating. Plan ahead!”


“I think these are all excellent and address real everyday issues in a positive and caring way.

Most people should find something among the ideas and situations that will apply to them. Just knowing that some of the situations that you are struggling with apply to other people too is a help in itself.”

The resources can be viewed at: www.ageconcern.org.nz, or www.relationshipsaotearoa.org.nz
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