When Sleep is a Nightmare: Helping Parents at Wits’ End

PRESS RELEASE –

When Sleep is a Nightmare: Helping Parents at Their Wits’ End

Parents of young children are increasingly asking for help to deal with children who are difficult to settle to sleep at night. Jenny Hale, Family Coach at The Parenting Place, regularly talks with parents who are fighting a losing battle against later bedtimes as it takes longer and longer to help their children off to sleep. “This is a very real issue for the happiness and smooth functioning of the family”, says Jenny. “If Mum and Dad aren’t getting time to relax, debrief, and enjoy each other’s company, and especially if their own sleep is being disturbed, then the flow-on effect can be very significant. Mum and Dad are key regulators of the family mood and atmosphere, and if they’re grumpy, tired, and not in synch with one another, then everyone suffers.”

There are a multitude of reasons why children can be difficult to settle. Some will be over-stimulated and under-rested during the day, making self-settling difficult for them. Others may be prone to night-time anxiety or fearful of intruders or monsters. And of course others will be the good old garden variety “just having a go”, suggests Jenny. “It’s normal for most kids to test the boundaries with their parents around routines and expectations, and unfortunately pushing bedtime later and later can be a guaranteed way to get a big reaction or lots of extra focus from Mum and Dad.”

Help is at hand however, and fortunately for busy and stressed parents, the same kind of an approach will help most children learn to self-settle more easily, no matter what the cause of their problem. The number one piece of advice from The Parenting Place to help with bedtime stress is to shift from a focus on getting that child to sleep, to getting that child ready to sleep. Children can’t fall asleep on command, and stress levels on both sides will be pushed higher if parents are communicating an expectation to “fall asleep now!”. The important things are the calming, predictable routine, and then the expectation that once we’ve said goodnight, there’s nowhere else to go, or no more fun to be had that evening.

“Some kids will need a little box of suitable night-time activities beside the bed”, recommends Jenny. “If they take longer to get to that sleepy stage, there’s no reason why they can’t read, draw, write, or play quietly with some specially selected toys until they feel drowsy. Getting out of bed, or coming out to engage Mum or Dad in a battle, is not helpful, but quietly entertaining yourself is fine and just what some children need”.

Make sure that anxious and sensitive children are given time to de-brief the issues and worries of the day, often this seems to work best during the quiet of bedtime, so trying to rush the talk at this point can be counter-productive. “Encourage them to share their highs and lows with you at bedtime. Your big-person perspective will be a useful tool in learning how to manage life’s stresses”, says Jenny. “And most importantly, remember that kids will eventually learn to stay in bed when Mum and Dad work hard at keeping calm, and staying firm on what the expectations are. A fuss-free bedtime atmosphere needs to come from the top. You can get great results this way”.

Ends

© Scoop Media