1 In 8: NZ Male Sexual Assault Survivors Speak Out In New Book

The harrowing firsthand accounts of 26 male sexual assault victims from across Aotearoa have been laid bare in a new book released by Tautoko Tāne Aotearoa - the only dedicated male sexual assault support network in New Zealand.

Coming In From The Cold opens a door to the environments and systems in which abuses occurred, irrevocably changing the course of these men’s lives.

But the anthology is also a tribute to the power of connection, support, hope and aroha, showcasing the decades-long efforts of Tautoko Tāne Aotearoa to support male survivors.

Male survivors interviewed for the book say sharing their stories is ultimately about helping others on their own journey.

“Telling my story and finding support saved my life, so now I just try to give that to others,” one survivor says.

“I want to show others that they don’t need to suffer in silence for as long as I did. We have to break the embarrassment and the guilt that hold us back," another says.

Tautoko Tāne Executive Trustee, Tony Chamberlain, says Coming In From The Cold is a confronting but important recount of a dark aspect of New Zealand’s past and present.

“This book acknowledges the horrific experiences of our New Zealand male survivor community – not only those who have shown great courage in sharing their life stories for the benefit of others but also for the silent members of that community whose stories may never be told.

“But it also highlights the potential for healing; the real possibility of survivors working with other survivors to find a way forward and to realise a different future of their own making.

“Tautoko Tāne was born from a special group of survivors who went through their own journey and wanted to support others through their deepest trauma. In setting up a national network for male sexual assault survivors, this group realised the difference they could make in our world.”

Male sexual abuse is widespread, with one in eight men over the age of 15 having been sexually assaulted in Aotearoa.

However, enduring societal stigmas mean assault of this nature continues to be significantly under-reported, Mr Chamberlain says.

“The harm experienced by male survivors has significant social and economic flow-on impacts for society.

“Without intervention, male survivors of sexual abuse often face lifelong mental health challenges, addiction issues, and dysfunctional relationships.

“Men experience sexual abuse differently and require services that are tailored to their specific needs.

“The Tautoko Tāne network provides spaces where male survivors can access support from those who understand their unique experiences, break cycles, and start on their path to healing.”

You can find Coming In From The Cold on Amazon.

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