Pain and Heartbreak What Happens When the Media Furore Ends

Pain and Heartbreak – What Happens When the Media Furore Ends?

Shock, heartbreak and misery. Though the eye of the public has moved on, the two families who have lost children in the last two months, allegedly at the hands of adults, will not have. What is next for these families?

“The death of a child is always painful but an extra layer of grief, anger and pain is inevitable when there are questions about the child’s death possibly resulting from abuse” says Maggy Tai Rakena Spokesperson for the Canterbury Family Violence Collaboration and Manager of START. “There will be many ripple effects from such a situation.“

“The process will vary hugely for each member of a family depending on their particular relationships, who they think is to blame, recriminations and legal outcomes. Deaths through abuse can devastate families and create divisions that are difficult to resolve.”

People may want to help but not know what to do.

“Parenting is a difficult and challenging job at the best of times so the more the community supports parents with that vital task the better” says Tai Rakena. “Judging parents when they are struggling is much less helpful than offering to either help, or get others to help. We need to make it normal and healthy for parents to ask for help and information. These families will need a lot of support to recover from their losses.”

“Child abuse is preventable but it will take effort from the whole community and to recognise that we all play a role. Listen to children if they tell you they are worried or frightened either in their words or their behaviour. Seek advice about how to help them to be safe.”

The U.S. National Center of Injury Prevention and Control recently released ‘THRIVES: A Global Technical Package to Prevent Violence Against Children’ which highlights the best evidenced strategies and interventions sourced from around the globe that help societies effectively address violence against children:

Training in parenting – Home visitation programmes; comprehensive parenting training programmes; parenting training in small community groups.

Household Economic Strengthening - Cash transfers; group savings and loans accompanied by gender equity training; micro-finance combined with gender equity training.

Reduced Violence through Legal Protection – Laws banning violent punishment; laws regulating alcohol hours of sale; price and number of outlets; laws prohibiting sexual abuse and exploitation of children; legal protections establishing equal rights for males and females.

Improved Services – Counselling/therapeutic approaches; screening in clinical settings combined with interventions; support groups; shelters and emergency housing; advocacy and case management.

Values and Norms that Protect Children – Small group programmes; bystander interventions; community mobilization programmes; campaigns.

Education and Life Skills – School enrolment and attendance; school-based early education; life skills violence prevention programmes; dating violence/rape prevention programmes; adolescent girls’ empowerment.

Surveillance and Evaluation – Violence Against Children Surveys or Multiple Indicator Surveys to measure the problem, identify groups at risk and monitor the progress of prevention strategies.

If we know that this is what works, how is Canterbury and New Zealand doing at taking effective action to reduce our shameful record of violence against children?

“There is a long way to go here in Canterbury as evidenced by the recent deaths of two small children. However, it is important not to get overwhelmed by the size of this problem” says Tai Rakena.

“If we look at how New Zealand has managed to successfully change behaviours around such things as smoking indoors or wearing seatbelts, child abuse can be seen as a surmountable problem.”

“Speaking out about all forms of violence: child abuse, family violence and sexual violence is a great place to start as this can immediately help people to become safe. We have some great local services that can help us do this well but these services need on-going Government funding to enable them to support their communities.”

“No more children must die while we argue about who is responsible for this societal change – we all need to be involved.”

“We can all challenge social norms that turn a blind eye to child abuse and other violence. We need to ensure that there is protective legislation to keep children safe and then support those who are tasked with implementing it. We can all learn more about child abuse and the services that can work with this problem.”

If you are worried about a child or young person please contact Child Youth and Family on 0508 FAMILY (0508 326 459). Reports of concern can be made anonymously.

ENDS

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