SHARP ETIQUETTE: Avoiding Bad Language
"!!WIN BEER!!
Have a sharp story you think is worth
sharing ?
send it to
Sharp@scoop.co.nz and WIN BEER!!
++++++ PLEASE PASS
THIS EMAIL ON! ++++++
SHARP ETIQUETTE: Getting On With Colleagues
HR Memo on Communication...Dear Fellow Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. This type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work
late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me
to do this?
TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't
feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way.
TRY
SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be
shitting me!
TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check
with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a
shit.
TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the
project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my fucking
problem.
TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD
OF:
What the fuck?
TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can
be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This shit won't
work.
TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD
OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY
SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD
OF:
He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING:
Excuse
me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat shit and die.
TRY
SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD
OF:
Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at
the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY
SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD
OF:
Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING:
I love a
challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
TRY
SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD
OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY
SAYING:
I see.
INSTEAD OF:
Blow me.
TRY
SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's
a prick.
TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive
go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting
bitch.
TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more
training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck
you're doing.
Thank You,
Human Resources
-
author unknown, found circulating on the internet
HOW
TO STAY SHARP! =======
Subscribe To Steinlager Premium Light Top Scoops (With Sharp Stories)
New Zealand's first free and customisable real-time news by email service. You too can join the ultra-sharp community of news users who have discovered the Scoop news-by-email service. Included in each daily Top Scoops headlines bulletin will be a Sharp Story designed to help keep you razor sharp. Enjoy tomorrow's news today on Scoop!
CLICK HERE: http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/ad_html/sharpstories/stein.html
=========== PASS IT ON! ===========
--TO CHANGE MY SCOOP OPTIONS OR UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST - CLICK HERE http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/myscoop/signin.html