Scoop  Top Scoops

EDITORS NOTE: Scoop has commenced publication of satirical articles from the Babylon Express newspaper. Those easily offended and not often amused should avoid this content. See authors note at the end of this article for more information about the Babylon Express.

Joke Gets Moron Crew Fired

The Moron Crew, popular hosts of Wellington radio station Ballhead FM, have been released from their contracts after the regular morning 'Joke that could get the Crew downsized' got the crew downsized.

A statement by station management said that "While we like a joke as much as the next person, and indeed in the past have allowed the Crew plenty of latitude in their choice of jestful matter, and even defended them from certain industry criticisms, we feel that the fundamentally political matter of the jape in question leaves us no choice but to follow the recommended course of action. Jokes about humourous instances of fellatio are one thing; jokes that might cause a person to sit up from working like a busy little bee and question the nature and validity of their socio-political situation are another thing altogether."

A transcript of the offending segment was released by the station.

Poggy - Ok, get ready, coz it's time for the joke that could get the crew downsized!

Grunt - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Nack - Goodness gracious! Heavens above!

Poggy - Alright then! What's the difference between capitalism and communism?

Grunt - Ha ha ha ha. Gmmpphhh. Ha ha. Gmmpphh.

Poggy - Well, one is where human beingss materially exploit other human beings, and the other is the exact opposite!

Grunt - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Nack - Golly whiz! Humpty Dumpty! Fiddle de-dee!

Grunt - I don't get it.

Nack - Well, actually no - actually neither do I

Poggy - Gawd! Jeez! Doncha geddit? One is where - ah forget it. Here's one. Guy walks into a bar right? Unzips his fly, pulls out his dingy ding dong, and says "Hey everybody - look at my huge cock!"

Grunt - AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Nack - Well I never! Pon my soul! Hey nonny nonny!

Grunt - HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Poggy - God you guys are dickheads.

While the witty banter and subtle humour of the Moron crew will be missed by wage-slaves with questionable music tastes throughout the Wellingtom region, Ballhead FM stressed that the station would continue to maintain its standards, promising more "monotonous music, patronising garbage, and cretinous DJ's."

They also announced that substantial savings had already been reported from the cancelling of all the Moron Crew's monstrously egomaniacal billboards and bus adverts. Negotiations were now underway to have replacements for the Crew bio-engineered by cross-pollinating genetic samples of junk mail with Britney Spear's toenail clippings.

Members of the Moron crew have yet to coment. Nack was reported to be at home having a nice cup of tea before taking a little nap. Poggy is rumored to be trying to jack up another tv series, although insiders say she may have some difficulty since "the last one was shit", and Grunt was most recently seen leaning against a lampost in town, laughing hysterically with tears in his eyes, saying "Look at my huge cock! AH HA HA HA HA HA! Look at my huge cock! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

- The Babylon Express is a satirical newspaper published randomly in Wellington. Copies are so far only available in local shops whose proprietors haven't got sticks up their arses. Those interested in acquiring previous or upcoming copies should contact the editor at bexpress69@hotmail.com. Contributions and suggestions are always very welcome. Cheers.

© Scoop Media

 

Top Scoops Headlines