Scoop Satire: International News Briefs

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British Prime Minister Tory Blair has been re-elected as head cheerleader for the US Government State Department for the 3rd year running. Mr Blair beat off strong competition this year from Australian PM John Coward to retain the much sought-after role.

US President said that Blair had won on the strength of their respective nations historical ‘special relationship’.

“And I can confirm that Tory is a very special leader, very special indeed - aren’t you Tory? You’re my special little friend.” said Bush, giving the blushing, sharp-toothed, dish-eared Mr Blair an affectionate pinch on the cheek.

The British PM then donned tights and pom-poms and delighted a large crowd with a routine he’d specially prepared, entitled “America, America - I’m Your Pal!”

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon today delivered a personal message of reassurance to Palestinians about his governments desire for a meaningful peace in the conflict ridden region.

“Yea, I am become death” said Sharon. “And death shall be my name and smiting shall be my nature, and those who defy my word are aggressors and must be smote by the flaming sword of Zion.”

US diplomatic attache Hubert Humphrey welcomed the offering and hoped that Palestinians would respond ‘responsibly’ to Sharon’s gesture.

However, Israeli Defence Force sources said that the only thing responsible about the Palestinian response was the orderly way they formed queues and waited patiently for their explosive suitcases.

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