Top 10 NZ First Fears If Asian Population Doubles

1. Auckland Zoo will be rebranded as an 'open air catch-your-own restaurant'.

2. School pupils will be forced to stop what they're doing now and learn maths and English.

3. Driving on the left will become optional.

4. No All Black locks will be over 5ft 2".

5. Weetbix might adopt the slogan "Kiwi Kids are Wonton Kids".

6. Every school in New Zealand will be provided with a Karaoke machine for singing of New Zealand's new national anthem - "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.

7. OSH will start requiring all workplaces to be feng shui compliant.

8. The cost of Winston Peters' suits will double once even his size is considered "large".

9. New Zealand wins World Cup... in ping pong.

10. "Sushi with that beer, mate."

Be brave and pass it on!

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Viva la revolution!

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