St Molesworth: Top 10 Items On Brash's To Do List

Top 10 items on Don Brash's to do list

1. Ask Helen Clark for her therapist's number so I can learn how to be a modest leader too.

2. Ask Nick Smith to resign from the Greens and join National if he really wants to be the party's deputy.

3. Emulate Helen Clark by visiting hostile places like Iraq, Afghanistan, and Radio New Zealand.

4. Ask Helen Clark to wear her 1960s beekeeper combat fatigues into the House so everyone can have a bloody good laugh.

5. Buy some of that 'guaranteed to turn on voting women aged 75+' after-shave that Winston wears.

6. Complain to the Broadcasting Standards Authority about National Radio calling itself "independent and impartial".

7. Add a circling shark to that ridiculous photo on the National website of Bill and Nick snorkelling together.

8. In order to appear exciting, spend as much time as possible standing next to Martin Gallagher.

9. Celebrate my victory with a warm cup of Ovaltine and a jolly good reading of the book of Matthew.

10. Find Jim Bolger's old whiskey stash.

Be brave and pass it on!

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