Private Investigator Hired To Dig Dirt On God

Scoop Note: News too good to be true from the chronicle of Moenui - proud holder of the 'Northern Region Best Kept Grass Verge Award'

A private investigator has rocked the establishment by claiming that he has dossier of information about God that will send shock-waves and empty churches "faster than a visit by the Taliban."

The investigator Wayne Idour, claims he was hired to build the file by the Labour Party but Labour Party officials are denying involvement.

The allegation is the latest in a series of shocking revelations claiming criminal activity and sexual impropriety by MPs and the gathering of "dirt files" by snoops hired by the Exclusive Brethren sect. Last week Wayne Idour admitted to gathering dirt on the Government and then went on to say he knew of Labour attempts to collect sleaze on it's political opponents. The latest claim involving the bugging of confessionals and fingerprinting of collection plates has brought howls of foul-play fromthe church.

"It's absolutely deplorable. Trying to dig up sleaze on God is beyond the pale," a leading Churchman told the Kiwi Herald.

Mr Idour however defended the investigation saying that if it was good enough for the Exclusive Brethren to dabble in politics it was "fair enough for the Labour Party to reciprocate, after all He should have nothing to hide since He consistently sets Himself up as some sort of moral authority."

Mr Idour would not comment on rumours that God had been at an election night 'laying on of hands' at Labour headquarters dressed in a stylish blue suit. He did however raise historic allegations that God was involved 'inappropriately' with a teenage virgin some 2000 years ago. The Kiwi Herald understands that artists impression of the teen (at left) will be published in next months Investigate magazine accompanied by a call for fresh information from the public

God could not be reached for comment.

ENDS

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