"The Corrective Party was horrified, shocked, appalled, disgusted, spindled, folded and mutilated to see that Russell Crowe won the Academy Awards for best male actress this year!!!" raved Sister Raptophilia, Matrix Dominatrix of the Corrective Party.

"Look at what he's wearing- a leather skirt!!! Now, leather skirts have their place, and Lucy Lawless wears hers quite nicely and to gender-appropriate effect. But one cannot say that for Russell, who has become a gender upturner in his move "Gladiola."

"Of course, he is not the only culprit of gender gymnastics, for one must remember the threat posed to stable gender identities through Scotland's international encouragement of shameless kiltery!!!" burbled Sister Raptophilia as she careened toward her eventual conclusion.

Contact: Sister Raptophilia SM (06) 3569099/7750.

© Scoop Media