THE NEW WRITE

Official Newsletter of the New Zealand Young Nationals

13th December 2001

"The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces."
-Maureen Murphy

1. CONGRATULATIONS TO DANIEL GORDON
2. CLOSING THE GAPS IN DISARRAY
3. CANDIDATES GO BOWLING
4. TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR LOCAL MP IS LOSING IT
5. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

1. CONGRATULATIONS TO DANIEL GORDON

Young Nationals Chairman Daniel Gordon was last week selected as National's Waimakariri candidate for the 2002 election.

Waimakariri is just north of Christchurch, containing a mix of urban and rural areas. It has traditionally been a National seat in the past, but it is currently held by Labour MP Clayton Cosgrove.

Cosgrove's one claim to fame was an award from the World Economic Forum as one of the world's top 100 future leaders. However it has since emerged that Cosgrove actually nominated himself for the award.

Unfortunately Dan's success means that he will be stepping down from his role in the Young Nationals. Dan has made a huge contribution, turning it into a large and professional organisation which is still the largest youth political group in the country.

Some of the achievements over the last few years include:
-The website
-Mailing lists and discussion groups
-Professional advertising material and pamphlets
-Greater involvement in the policy process, and a closer relationship with caucus.

Thanks Dan, and best of luck next year.

2. CLOSING THE GAPS IN DISARRAY

The Government's 'closing the gaps' policy for Maori is in disarray after two select committees criticised the lack of accountability and performance measurement for the hundreds of millions of dollars being spent.

The Government Administration Select Committee, with a majority of Government members, said the entire programme was confusing with no clear accountability. Four different bodies have roles, yet their precise and relevant roles were found to be disjointed and unclear.

And Maori Affairs Minister Parekura Horomia admits Te Puni Kokiri is failing to provide him with the required information on whether or not the spending is actually achieving anything.

ACT leader Richard Prebble says the policy is in disarray. "The money is still being spent, but without any monitoring to see if the expenditure is having any beneficial effect.

“The select committee’s concern is not that Maori don’t have significant social issues, but that the government’s solution seems to be to spend money rather than the more challenging approach of seeing if the money is actually being effective,” Mr Prebble said.

3. CANDIDATES GO BOWLING

The candidates for National selection in Wellington Central went ten-pin bowling last night with Young Nationals delegates. The event was designed as a fun alternative to the usual candidates meetings and speeches.

Here is how the candidates fared:

*Hekia Parata came out with the highest score of the candidates, and impressed with her aggressive fast bowling. However she was inconsistent at times.

*Dale Stephens had the best technique, and was steady and consistent. Many of his bowls veered to the centre-left though.

*Annabel Young started well but couldn't keep it up; in fact she scored a record low of 12 on her second game. At least she kept trying though.

Other highlights included Mark Chang's aerial tactics, which gained him a strike (on the the second bounce). Brendon Pallesen was the overall winner, while DPF and Anita both scored 69s together.

4. TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR LOCAL MP IS LOSING IT

1. Claims to be MP from the great electorate of Margaritaville.

2. During debates, speaks only through a hand puppet made of his hairpiece.

3. Instead of voting "Yay" or "Nay," often votes "Nyay".

4. Agrees with Keith Locke on a foreign policy issue.

5. Supports "Casual Fridays" by showing up to Parliament naked.

6. Describes Helen Clark as the "greatest Prime Minister in the history of New Zealand".

7. Only interested in capturing the "monkey man vote".

8. Campaign bus adorned with catchy slogan “Greyhound”.

9. Asks the Speaker to recognize the "junior member" in his pants.

10. Claims an out of town allowance despite living in Wellington, drives drunk, tries to get privileges for family members in prison, has an affair with a teenager, and appoints friends to important jobs.

With help from David Letterman, With help from David Letterman, http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten

5. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

Some of the most fun websites are ones where they quiz you on politics, then analyse your answers and tell you where you belong on the political spectrum. Here are two of the best:

www.politicalcompass.org.nz

www.3pc.net/matchmaker/quiz.html

According to the first, I am libertarian and economically liberal. According to the second I am 75% libertarian and 53% green, goddamn it. I hate those hippies, how the hell can I have such a high green rating?

And a correction from last week – the correct address is www.lemonadegame.com

Any views expressed here are not necessarily those of New Zealand Young
Nationals, or the New Zealand National Party.

Contributions, feedback, articles and subscriptions welcome. Email
newwrite@national.org.nz

Editor: Phil Rennie

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