The Fundy Post: Octavo Edition

Paul TV

The Big News of this week is that the Fundy Post will be on nation-wide TV this week. I shall be appearing on Queer Nation on Thursday at 11pm on TV2, repeated on Sunday. I won't give anything away just yet, but tune in: it will be worth watching. This production comes to you with the assistance of the Global Conspiracy of Atheists and Gays, of which more below.

The Community Standards Society and its Enemies

Breaking News: the Society for the Promotion of Community Standards has written a press release about Chris Carter's speech at our conference on Saturday. If you have the time and patience you can read it on Scoop at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/PO0410/S00188.htm. However since it runs to 2000 words and, as the Fundy Post motto is "we read this crap so you don't have to", I will attempt to summarise.

It begins: "The Hon. Chris Carter, the self-proclaimed practising homosexual Cabinet Minister promoting the Civil Union Bill, delivered the keynote speech on Saturday 16th October 2004 to the annual conference of the NZ Rationalists and Humanists Association which had as its theme “The Tolerant Society and its Enemies”. The Association felt that the theme was appropriate, given “the spectacle of displays of religious and political intolerance” by certain groups and individuals over recent months." It then rambles on to say that Georgina Beyer, the "openly transsexual" MP showed intolerance by haranguing the Destiny Church's Enough is Enough marchers, that other opponents had displayed "hateful" placards and that Mr Carter himself had been nasty to his opponents on a TV debate (television not transvestite, in case you are confused).

It goes on: "Ironically, Mr Carter demonstrated at the RHA conference how unqualified he is to identify those who are 'enemies' of a tolerant society. He informed the conference that there’s no place for fundamentalism and intolerance in New Zealand. He deliberately used the pejorative terms 'fundamentalist' and 'homophobic' in order to try and stigmatise all those who do not support the Civil Union Bill and the Relationship (Statutory References) Bill which he is promoting." We are the NZARH, not the RHA, which is the Royal Horse Artillery (my uncle's regiment, incidentally), but then facts never got in the way of a good rant for the SPCS, who are not the same as the SPCA.

It goes on and on with a lot of drivel about rights which I can't be bothered transcribing, but which lead to the clinching argument that "Significant numbers of practising lesbians have publicly affirmed that their sexual preference is a chic lifestyle choice, when in reality it is a sexual disorder." If Lesbianism is a chic lifestyle choice, can I become one? We are told that "Lesbianism is the chink in the ‘defence’ gays put up, their feet of clay, the hole in the dyke." We will pass on from that last metaphor without further comment, but with barely-suppressed smirking; don't ever say that I am not in touch with my inner schoolboy.

Then (you are still with me, aren't you?) it tries to show that the vast majority of New Zealanders are Christian, because 58.9% of respondents ticked an appropriate box in the 2001 census. Well yes, except that the 2001 Census allowed respondents to tick up to four boxes for religious affiliation, which Christian respondents may well have done. On the other hand, those who had no religion would presumably tick only that box; a mere 1,028,049 people did so, a measly 29.63% of all responses, more than any single Christian denomination and almost as much as the Anglicans and Catholics put together. You might also like to consider that only about 10% of the total population regularly attend any form of religious service, which surely is the qualification for true religiosity.

The SPCS then tries to claim that because lots of people ticked the Christian boxes, then most New Zealanders hold their views about Civil Unions, to whit "one can reasonably conclude that these conservative values are held by the majority of New Zealanders". These conservative values are those of "Historic Christianity (e.g. Westminster confession)". Hold on; wasn't the Westminster Confession made in 1647 and doesn't Christianity date from something like 100CE? Not very historic, then and doesn't this definition of Christianity leave out the Catholics, the Orthodox churches and a whole lot of others? And is it not true that many, perhaps most, Christians are pretty relaxed about Civil Unions?

I could go on, but I won't; enough is enough, as they say. To cut to the chase, the press release ends (apart from the footnotes; yes, it has footnotes) with the following: "the fact that a highly ranked Labour Cabinet Minister would actively proselytise for new civil union believers among the ranks of the NZ Rationalists and Humanists Association, demonstrates how desperate he is to advance this bill, one in which he and his practising homosexual partner have a decidedly vested interest. Given that the Association has been actively promoting the Civil Union Bill for much of the year and resorted to ad hominem attacks on those who oppose it, one can conclude that Mr Carter must have felt very much at home at the Association’s ‘religious’ convention. Celebrating common ground with intolerant humanists and atheists committed to attacking 'fundamentalism' must have been a heart-warming exercise for Mr Carter – a demonstration of unity and 'gay' pride".

Those gays, always proselytising, and at a religious convention as well; don't they ever stop? Still, it is heart-warming that the SPCS noticed the ad hominem attacks.

When we first saw the press release, we assumed that the SPCS had sent a spy into our camp, but it turns out they had cribbed all their information from a piece by Chris Banks on GayNZ, who bothered to turn up. They should have been there: if they had infiltrated our ranks they would have heard about the Atheist and Gay conspiracy to take over the world and force small children to read Carl Sagan and watch Doris Day movies.

They would also have heard the Fundy Post Colour Supplement, which didn't involve any colour, because I hate PowerPoint to pieces. It did involve some more ad hominem attacks, however, and some choice words about their friends at the Maxim Institute. They would also have heard Kathy Sunderland on the iniquities of the Blasphemy law, Max Wallace on the separation of Church and State, as well as Ray Bradley on what it is like to be a fundamentalist and why he is not one any more. They would have also enjoyed a rather nice lunch.

News Just In: as this edition was going to Press, another media release was issued by SPCS, attacking Mr Chris Banks for ridiculing their first media release (try to keep up) at GayNZ, which can be found at http://www.gaynz.com/news/default.asp?foobar=1864&dismode=article&artid=1864 . The SPCS response can be found on Scoop at http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/PO0410/S00196.htm. It is almost as long as its predecessor and includes gems such as "Practising homosexual persons are defined by a lifestyle choice that involves having intimate sexual relations with a same-sex partner. This practice considered by many New Zealanders as a sexual serious dysfunction and/or deviancy and morally wrong, has not been shown scientifically to be based on any condition or character that practising homosexuals have been born with".

This time, the SPCS also tries some satire, but again manages to produce no more than an unintended smirk, with an entirely unnecessary reference to 'boring porkies'.

Since it was the very same Mr Banks who provided some real evidence from real psychologists to disprove the SPCS claim that homosexuality was linked to pedophilia, we can expect this torrent of media releases to continue.

Career Opportunities

If you are kicking yourself that you did not go to our conference (I did warn you) you can go to another one this weekend. Pastor Brian Tamaki is having a rantfest at Destiny Church headquarters this Labour Weekend. It could be worth your while: our conference only offered darwin fish badges and a rather nice lunch; Brian is offering Power.

If you are one of the few who still think Destiny Church is about spiritual succour, you might want to pop over to his website (www.destinychurch.org.nz) and take a look at the advertisement for the Labour Weekend activities. A Fundy Post reader alerted us about this and she wins this week's prize of a Portable Baptistry and a supply of bubble bath.

The Labour weekend jamboree is on the theme of Taking This Nation, and the advertisement promises Rulership, Dominion and Possession. Should we be worried about his ambitions, or should we sign up now in the hope of getting at least a minor Government portfolio when Pastor Brian takes over? The position of Director of Book Burning is probably still available.

Pastor Brian's monstrous ego has for once taken a back seat to another, that of Bishop Eddie L Long, of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia. Long made himself a Bishop; you can do that when you own your church. He has recently made his wife, who is called The First Lady (I am not making this up) an Elder of the church. Some Destiny watchers have for some time suspected that Pastor Brian's operation is a franchise of the New Birth church, purchased as a package. You can see the similarities: vaulting ambition, extravagant promises, vulgar design, gaudy threads. Pastor Brian has preached at Bishop Long's gatherings, along with other like-minded (if that is the word) evangelicals.

In fact, some fundies find the likes of Brian and Eddie rather disturbing because they offer just a little too much to their followers. If you go to the trouble of watching Brian's broadcasts (I have to; it's in my job description; it is not much fun) you will learn that if you believe in Him you will get rich. You might also get to run the country. You will be one of the Elect. Brian and his followers are destined to rule. Of course, if you believe this, you will believe anything and it will cost you a lot of money in tithes as well. If I were you, I would stick with the Fundy Post. It may be frivolous, but it is free.

Education News

This week's Post would not be complete without an ad hominem attack against the Maxim Institute. They keep providing the opportunities and this week is no exception. Last Thursday, Maxim produced a media release entitled New Zealand Educator Speaks at World Congress, which you can read at http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/PO0410/S00133.htm. Apparently, a 'leading New Zealand educator' is to speak at an international gathering. So, who is this luminary of education? None other than Mr Paul Henderson, Director of Maxim's Centre for Education, which appears to comprise him and his munchkin. Breathlessly, 'Manager Director' of Maxim Institute, Greg Fleming says the invitation to address the World Congress result is significant. 'Paul Henderson is nationally recognised as an expert in curriculum development and values education and has now been recognised worldwide with the invitation to speak at the World Congress of Families'.

Those in the education field may be wondering if they are a little behind in their reading for not having heard of Mr Henderson. He is the author of Vying For Our Children, published by the Maxim Institute, which 'takes a timely and critical look at New Zealand’s school curricula and examines the very roots of the philosophies that underpin them. It shows how a number of ideologies compete to influence educational policy and curricular content, and clearly identifies the influence of each'. Needless to say, it does nothing of the kind and does not clearly identify anything, except Mr Henderson's prejudices. Yes, once again it is all the fault of Postmodernism and Neo-Marxism. Foucault that.

Obviously, this book qualifies him as one of this country's leading educators, because in other respects his CV seems a little bare: he apparently worked in curriculum development in Africa, but otherwise seems to have spent little time in the field. If you want to know what he has to say, Mr Henderson's speech to the World Congress is available from Maxim's website. It is much the same as his book: we are all going to hell in a hand-basket because of progressivism, post-modern relativism and neo-Marxism. His solution: put the schools in the hands of parents (we all know what kind of parents), replace trained teachers with the right sort of people and let the schools decide what curricula they are going to teach.

And what, you may ask, is The World Congress of Families? You should know by now that any organisation that uses the F word is almost bound to be run by fundies. As usual, it is financed by rich mad Americans. This year's congress is in Kuala Lumpur. If you should be there and happen to hear Mr Henderson, please be aware that New Zealand has many internationally recognised educationalists; he is not one of them.

Website of the Week

This Edition's Website of the Week is www.missionamerica.com Mission:America - Learn the Truth about Homosexuality, Witchcraft, Changing Christian Church, Radical Feminism, and the Youth Culture.

Quote of the Week

New! Improved! The Fundy Post will now have a quote of the week, just like the Maxim Institute does in its Real Issues. Our first quote comes from Mr Kerry Bodman:

"So you are Paul Litterick. I've read a lot about you, mostly written by you".

The End. The Fundy Post is written by Paul Litterick with the help of Old Coach Road 2003 Merlot.

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