Media Release 15 September 2009

Violence Against Women

More Than Twenty Women Murdered Since Sophie Elliott

On average one woman is murdered by her partner or ex partner every 3.7 weeks.

But it is a disgrace that we don’t know exactly how many cases there are, because Police do not routinely collate or release information on the relationship of the victim and the murderer, or on the gender of the victim.

“We have no way of knowing exactly how many women are murdered by their partners or ex partners. It is as though the lives of these women had no value – they are not even identified in statistics” said Ruth Herbert from the Roundtable on Violence against Women.

Herbert estimates that more than 20 women have been murdered by their partners or ex partners since Sophie Elliott was murdered in January 2008.

Indications are that there have been more domestic murders so far in 2009 than there normally are in a whole year.

Lesley Elliott, Sophie’s mother pleads, “Let’s do everything we can to ensure Sophie didn’t die in vain. Our family urges all New Zealanders to become aware of, and recognise the warning signs of a domestic violence abuser, so that we can protect ourselves, our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends. She adds importantly that it is not just live-in relationships where violence occurs “Sophie had been on and off dating Clayton for just five months”.

Herbert says that we have to stop asking “why doesn’t she just leave?” because leaving often does not end the violence.

Men who have harmed or killed their partners display remarkably similar characteristics - a dangerous mixture of possessiveness, control and dependence that leads them to think they own their girlfriends or partners. “Once they have this belief it’s a very small step to thinking: “If I can’t have them, no one will”, says Herbert.

It is this “attitude of ownership, power and control” that makes the time after separation the most dangerous. This is when women are most likely to be seriously assaulted or murdered. In Sophie’s case, she had ended the relationship and was moving to Wellington to start a new job and a new life.

Elliot also hopes that part of Sophie’s legacy will be an end to provocation as a defence and the victim blaming that occurs in court rooms and within society.

Herbert says that the misperception that women are some how to blame for the violence, is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in ending violence against women.

“In Sophie’s case and in Kristin Dunne-Powell’s case we have seen women’s characters being torn apart in a most public way – re-abusing them all over again”.

Another part of Lesley’s legacy to Sophie is to try and help other young women understand what is and what is not acceptable behaviour in a relationship, what are unhealthy characteristics in relationships and what the warning signs are.

Lesley and Kristin have joined forces to work with the Roundtable of Violence Against Woman and other domestic violence groups to use their personal experiences to help bring about an end to violence against women and their children in New Zealand.

Background To The Roundtable On Violence Against Women

The Roundtable on Violence Against Women is an Aotearoa New Zealand not-for-profit organisation working to promote the human rights of women and girls by ending all forms of violence against women. See the website www.roundtablevaw.org.nz

A fact sheet on domestic violence and dating violence including red flags, characteristics of abusers, and warning signs for parents is available at http://www.roundtablevaw.org.nz/

ENDS

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