SOLO-International Press Release: When Tigers Become Pussies

Tiger Woods's ritual self-abasement before the world today on the matter of his marital infidelities was pitiful, unnecessary and improper, says SOLO Principal Lindsay Perigo.

"Unfortunately such obscene ejaculations by stars in public have become commonplace in a world which has forgotten, as have the stars themselves, that what consenting or solitary adults do in private is no one else's business.

"If his sponsors believe his private behaviour somehow represents a breach of contract, they are of course entitled to pull the plug," Perigo adds. "And Mrs. Woods is certainly entitled to divorce him. But Tiger doesn't owe the world-at-large anything—neither apologies nor explanations nor any other assorted blubberings—least of all on account of the pleasure and inspiration he and his superlative talent have brought that world.

"Equally risibly fashionable is the notion that Tiger has a 'sex addiction' for which he requires 'therapy.' This grotesquery reflects America's being in the throes of a neo-Puritanical, neo-Prohibitionist hysteria where the sinfulness of any kind of pleasure is proclaimed at every turn, where the President is trying to tax tobacco companies retrospectively and force everyone into health care programmes, where the President's wife is on a mission to outlaw obesity, and where it will soon be wholly illegal to grow old disgracefully. The great Tiger Woods's abject capitulation to this hysteria is a far greater betrayal than his affairs. It's a betrayal of himself and of the freedom that made America unique.

"The best thing Tiger could do is not to repair to the Buddhism of his youth, as he claims to intend. To re-embrace one type of superstition while capitulating to another is merely to compound his betrayal. It's to give the media-vermin a two-fingered salute and repair to his beloved golf course as though nothing had happened—because in terms of what is relevant to his golfing exploits, and in terms of what the world-at-large has any business knowing, nothing has happened. May Tiger quickly realize this, quit being a sniveling pussy, pull himself out of his ridiculous castration-therapy ... and reclaim his tigerness," Perigo concludes.

ENDS

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