New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists (NZAP) welcome the review of the Family Court system recently announced by Minister Andrew Little.

“Along with the Minister we are concerned about the delays in the court, the number of custody disputes ending in alienation and the resulting distress caused to both parents and most disturbingly to children” said Lynne Holdem, a spokesperson for NZAP.

“For children the resulting stresses can be a life changer. Conflicts and emotional difficulties resulting from parental alienation or as a response to ‘stressed out caregivers,’ often lead to difficulty focusing at school, behavioural difficulties and later mental health difficulties” said Holdem.

“Some of these difficulties have arisen because in the past separating couples could be referred for free counselling but this was dropped by the previous government.”

“Six to eight sessions of couple counselling and psycho-education can de-escalate high emotions between couples around their children. Often, this avoided any court appearances at all. Instead the removal of counselling and the imposition of charges for mediation have driven families away or led to clogged courts with long delays and harmful power struggles over children” said Holdem.

“Separation in itself is not necessarily harmful to children, but acrimonious separations are always destructive. At times, separating parents are very bound up in their own needs and feelings, and the sessions also facilitated their thinking about the needs of their children. Even couples who want to hurt each other, or who are clinging to their children for comfort from their own distress, can, through counseling, come to realise the importance of keeping access open and peaceful for the sake of the children.” Holdem said.

“Many adult children of separated couples attending therapy attribute a deterioration in their mental health to the time of their parents separation”.

NZAP strongly urges the review panel to consider the re-establishment of free counselling for couples considering separation.

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